Goodbye…

If there was one thing I hate more than injustice in this world, it would be a goodbye.

I’ve always known that meeting always come in a package with parting; thus making parting is imminent to every meeting. But still, every time I have to say goodbye it will make me sad; reminiscing  the days I spent with that someone makes me don’t want to go anywhere. All that’s being said, maybe it is just human nature that makes me do not want to leave my convenient zone.

Now, I am faced with what I believe is the toughest goodbye I have ever experienced in my life.

Well, it’s actually a different kind of goodbye. It’s not because I have to go somewhere far far away and thus not able to see that someone again. But I have to say goodbye because I don’t want to bother that someone and disturbing her life.

To understand what I’m saying, maybe I should go back a little.

So, in short, I fell in love with this particular girl and for the first time in my life I managed to put all my courage together to tell her so.  I thought she was the best thing that ever happened in my life, and maybe it was true. But sadly, though not so shockingly, she rejected me.

Me, who’ve never been rejected (and of course never been accepted too in this matter :p) really didn’t know what to do. I was not ready getting the refusal, saying pompously that I will never give up on her and such. But, God, was she such a great girl. She did nothing about my behavior and continued to be my friend, pretending all of those never happened. She even made promise to see her whenever I get a vacation.

But, I was a fool. I took her kindness for granted and still wanted for more. And then the foolish actions was getting worse and worse as she always let me off the hook each time. Then one day, the inevitable came; she stopped responding to my mails, not picking up my calls, or even replying my messages.

You know, back at the days when I was still “freshly” rejected, I sometimes hoped that she would’ve hated me instead of kept befriending me. But now that the day has come and I can’t do anything about it, I feel so miserable. I feel lonely and tired. I wish we could get back to the what we used to be. I wish those happy days would last forever.

I know this is her choice and I have to respect it. Even today I still think that she is doing this for me, so that I can let go of her easily. Because she is that kind of girl.

I don’t know if someday me and her would read this post together and laugh at it, but now I have something to say to her.

Thank you for being there for me; like I said to you, those times I spent with you was the happiest so far I can remember. I am sorry for imposing on you and your compassion.  I am sorry for not being able to keep my promise to you. Please live a happy life. Good luck with your study and career, and may Allah bless you in every step you take. Well, I know you’ll do just fine

So, goodbye, my love. I know that there is a small to no chance that you would be reading this; let this be a silent goodbye, because I can’t bear not to say anything at all.

-Rio